TrasheD&D: The King's Wish, Chapter 1

Synopsis of Previous Campaign

Kingdom of Siplendd
Adventures are Barnofous, Linus, and Glorian
Big ass adventure. It was great.
And then they went back in time.

Chapter 1

Story begins two weeks after the adventures arrive in a Siplendd alley from the past where Linus hangs out.

In the future past, this is where one would meet characters like Slug and Hogon pretending to be Slug.

During the two weeks between going back in time and now, Linus wandered around and did not realize it was the past. He tries to go to familiar places but finds that people didn’t know him. Instead of using that information to become wealthy or powerful, Linus went to all his former enemies in his past life, befriends them, and then leaves them to never come back. He gave them foreboding information that they could use to change their lives but never enough. He was a petty asshole.

Linus went back to the bar where he met a wizard that wouldn’t be his friend and where he knows someone on his “hit list” hangs out. Somebody watched Linus from afar during his petty ass adventures.

Barnofous spent the last two weeks cleaning up Linus’s messes. He approached the confused and bewildered former-enemies-turned-frenemies-but-actually-still-enemies to explain the situation. 

Linus noticed Barnofous walk into the bar. He immediately confronted Barnofous about following him. Barnofous denied the accusations defensively. “You’re a literal giant,” Linus retorted. Barnofous and Linus bicker about how much they missed each other until they heard a familiar voice at the back of their heads.

The voice asked about their Linus’s amulet and Barnogus’s ring, which they confirmed were glowing. The voice, confirmed to belong to Magical Michael, informed them that they indeed went back in time, and that Linus and Barnofous were the only other people that remembered.

Where is Glorian? Barnofous tried to find and shadow him but he left town. Magical Michael tried to communicate with Glorian telepathically, but even with confirmation he can hear, Glorian does not respond.

Magical Michael requested the adventurers to check on Hogon. “Sure, but why haven’t you checked on if you could communicate with us until now?” Barnofous inquired. Magical Michael informed them that he’s going through a lot right now.

Upon investigation, the “Hogon’s Heroes” hero agency/bar building is boarded up. There is no signage. This place was never Hogon’s Heroes. But a little down the street there’s a paper help wanted sheet for Hogon’s Heroes.

Entering the “new” Hogan’s Heroes, the adventurers found a large man and a gnome sitting at a table in a largely empty room.

“Hey, uh, what’s up? You two are here for the ad?” Hogon asked.

Linus and Barnofous confirmed that they’ve never met Hogon and that they are there for the ad. Hogon and his companion Deacon took exception to how weird the adventures were behaving.

Nevertheless, Hogon informed Linus and Barnofous that the princess of Siplendd went missing. After some quibbling about the details of previous, extradimensional adventures, and the pertinence of these stories to the ad, beauty standards and general misogyny, a huddle about whether their previous adventures in a future past could get the job done faster, Linus and Barnofous agreed to take the job.

Deacon agreed to accompany the adventurers while Hogon took care of something else.

On the way to their next destination, Deacon revealed he had a whole suit of armor, like in The Avengers (2012)—a reference Linus pretends to get. Deacon called himself Iron Gnome and is reportedly very good at fixing things.

The adventurers noticed that the castle was the same but there was a new lead guard. They namecheck Hogon and Jameson Jenkins, the King’s right hand man. While they waited for Jenkins to arrive, Deacon said Jenkins sucks, revealing his bias against royals. Jenkins heard the criticism but paid it no mind. The group and Jameson quibbled about Jameson’s credentials,  about butler school, before they turned their attention to “the case.”

Hogon’s Heroes are led inside to a recognizable drawing room. Jameson revealed that the princess being missing is a secret. Barnofous and Linus reintroduce themselves to Jameson. “Call me Fixer,” said Deacon. Deacon has boundaries about his name and moniker. Barnofous wants to be friends with Deacon.

Jameson detailed that the Princess sometimes went missing for a few days but has been gone for two weeks. King is upset and available to talk to the adventurers in his throne room. The King being there was…weird.

Barnofous asked Jameson to tell the king, “we know about the card and we have further questions.”

Before he left to speak with the King, and confused by all the unexpected follow up and insight, Jameson informed the group that the only clue they were able to find was an unfamiliar piece of cloth embroidered with a symbol. Matilda, a halfling maid, found the item.  

Barnofous and Linus revealed to Deacon that they are from the future. This made sense to Deacon because he’s seen Avengers: Infinity War. (But that plot detail is actually from Avengers: Endgame). According to their recollection, a king wished on a card from an evil lady which probably led to the time travel.

The group argued about “Biffing,” i.e. to use the time travel for sports gambling. They also studied the cloth and its insignia. Linus recognized the symbol from the card deck. Deacon knows the symbol as “The Guild.” Thieves guild. Jameson returned and informed adventurers that King granted an audience.

Linus and Barnofous don’t recognize the throne room they’ve never been in before. The king is  tall, blond, bearded Paladin-looking. King doesn’t know Barnofous and Linus but recognized “Fixer.”

Linus decided to put all the cards on table, that he and Barnofous time traveled, and that he has a card deck of many things. He said that the Princess they already said was in a pocket dimension and that Poppy, the servant, was actually the true king of Siplendd.

The King is confused and worried by all this information. Linus tried to further prove his merit by mentioning Time Wardens, who were trying to fulfill the prophecies they made. The King knows of Time Wardens but they’re not considered serious. With things going downhill quickly, Barnofous told Linus to shut up.

The gang asked Jameson to fetch Poppy. Linus also asked if he could draw a card from the deck of remy. The magic deck would let King know what he needs to know about the investigation which he can share with the adventurous. Right as Linus pulled out the deck, Jameson noticed that the symbol on the deck matches the cloth and was the only clue in the investigation.

Linus clarifies that he received the cards from a magician’s house he burned down. Jameson voiced concern.  King grew curious. To ensure everyone’s safety, Hogon’s Heroes are taken back to the drawing room by guards.

Deacon notices a tiny elvish foot and robe behind the bookcase. Magical Michael emerged from behind the bookcase confused and anxious. He was now a new person in the world and a little sensitive. Two weeks ago MM stepped through a portal, asked for Jameson, and was kept in the drawing room.

Adventurous confirmed that they were being weird, seemingly threatened the King’s life, and ended up in the drawing room.

Jameson gave the cloth. “Time Travel thing” gave false confidence. MM clarified that Linus and Barnofous didn’t go back in time after the King undid his wish. They were actually placed in an alternate branch of reality.

Magical Magic is trapped in a new reality, presenting an ethical quandary. MM surmised that The Guild exists and the Guild kidnapped the Princess, which is odd. Also, MM confirmed that Linus’s deck is from another dimension. Jameson returned, apologizing to MM about the strange adventures. Magical Michael confirmed he knows them. Poppy arrived. Jameson leaves. This new information complicated the tense situation with the King but Jameson left the adventurers alone. He informed them that they can’t leave but to ring the bell to summon Jameson.

After Jameson left, Poppy revealed to Linus and Barnofous that he remembers them. He pretended he was of the current universe, which mostly meant organizing shoes. Deacon expressed concern with nonexistence. Magical Michael wonders if Deacon is Glorian in this dimension.

What do we do?

Michael suggested the group leaves but adventurers don’t want to be labeled fugitives. Maybe the King was lying about his situation like Poppy? The group summoned Jameson and inquired about the clue. Barnofous asked to speak with the maid. Jameson agreed. MM, still rattled, hung back. Linus thought it’s better to determine if the King is faking his reality. Deacon expressed that it’s a bad idea to try to obscure your identity to curry favor. Linus revealed he’s been using a fake accent the whole time.

The group is escorted to speak with the chambermaid Matilda in the Princess’s chambers. The room is tidy and, aside from the bed’s position in the room, looks the same. Barnofus revealed to Matilda he spoke halfling to show he was “down.:

“You’re a big man. And, you’re speaking with… How do you speak halfling?”

“My parents are halfling. Long story! That’s the end of it.”

Matilda informed the adventurers that she realized the Princess was missing during a morning clean. The bed was unmade and the Princess’s notebook was out. Matilda was apprehensive about revealing the Princess’s inner world and words. “That’s evidence!” exclaimed Deacon. Jameson implored Matilda to look at the last entry.

Matilda tried to downplay the contents of the last entry but revealed the Princess wrote about a love dream.

“Was it about love or was it about fucking?” Deacon asked gruffly.

“What kind of love? A love of life?” implored Linus.

To dissuade further foolishness, Jameson demanded Matilda to give the book to the adventures.

The entry described a dream about a dark elf who took the Princess in the night.

Matilda said that the princess has had many suitors but nothing torrid and unknown.

The group agreed to see the king again and Jameson allowed them to recreate the notebook entry.

Hogon’s Heroes re-entered the King’s throne room. The king, surrounded by many guards, no longer trusted the confusing strangers. King asked for more details about the investigation. Barnofous and Linus inquired the King about extra-dimensional activities. From what they could tell, there is no ruse; this King proved different from the one they knew.

Linus apologized for being dumb; he unspooled his soul to the King. In an attempt to prove their valor, Barnofous implored Linus to use the card deck. Linus explained the deck, its magic properties. The King not being an official ally to the group, because of how weird they were being, proved problematic. Poppy volunteered to demonstrate the magical deck to the King. Poppy pulled a card for the King to look at. The King said it looked like “Baldur's Gate.”

With a location to investigate, Hogon’s Heroes set off to find the Princess. They convinced Jameson to let them bring Poppy, but only received a three week allowance of the boy’s services.

MM left the drawing room by the time the gang checked again so Hogon’s Heroes decided to leave the castle.

Linus’s necklace and Barnofous’s ring led them to MM’s tent near Hogon’s Heroes. The tent is scaled down from its usual splendor. By MM’s estimation, Baulder’s Gate is a month on foot, two weeks by horse, and three days by boat. Deacon had a boat available but Linus asked MM there’s a portal to Baldur’s Gate. MM responded that the city in this dimension is probably different from how MM remembered. The group may be lost in the disparity.

MM described The Guild as proactive. Hogon’s Heroes surmised they should perform a heist in Baldur’s Gate to attract the Guild’s attention. How would they get there? Well, Deacon had a 41 foot sailboat with engine, so fuck portals. MM, defensive about his magic, placed Deacon in a black room. From the outside it looked like Deacon was consumed by darkness. Shortly after being released from MM’s magic, Deacon and MM continued to argue. MM made Deacon fall infinitely for further insults about his portals.

The group finally decide to use a portal to the Siplendd docks.

MM opted to not follow with the group but notified the group that they could communicate with their artifacts. Hogon’s Heroes planned to visit the Blade and Stars Inn when they arrived in Baldur's Gate.